Probably not the greatest thing to say about things not getting easier. But it’s how I feel at the moment.
I’ve returned to work after having the most amazing year off with Lily and everybody keeps asking me how it’s going.
‘Truthfully?’ Is my reply.
Truthfully I hate it.
Not my job because I love my job immensely. I work with Special Needs Children and I have the amazing job of making sure they have the provision they need to succeed. Teaching is a fantastic and rewarding job.
So what is it I hate?
Not spending every second of everyday day watching my little girl grow. Not enjoying our meals together. Not cuddling her when she is tired. Not making her giggle. Not watching as she does something new.
While I’m working she is growing, developing, laughing, crying, sleeping, eating, growing, learning, exploring… And I’m not there for it all.
People say it gets easier. But I don’t believe this. So far it’s only become harder. Yes I’ve adapted and accepted that this is what everybody does and this is what I need to do to provide good things for Lily. It just doesn’t make it any easier.
I may be wrong. I may think differently. But I personally don’t find it easier. I’ve simply accepted.
Mummy and Lily 